Top 19 Quotes & Sayings by Chris Cubas

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Chris Cubas.
Chris Cubas

Christopher "Chris" L Cubas is an American stand-up comedian, podcast host, and actor.

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Alive Artist Austin Avatar Barbecue Basically Being Funny Bill Bunch Cameron Hide All Care Central Chance City Class Club Comedy Cool Dead Defend Difference Documentary Does It Matter Don't Care Dream Driving Family Famous Favorite Favorite Movie Felt Flat Food Food Network Form Friends Fundamentals Funniest Funny Gave Giant Goal Gonna Good Great Great People Happen Hated Headline Hicks Hiring Holy Holy Grail Horrific I Don't Care Ideas Industry Invited James Joke Jokes Jump Kansas Kansas City Knew Laugh Lilies Line Live Living Make Makes Matter Meet Movie My Favorite My Friends Neighborhood Network New York Night One-Liners Opposed Original Part People Person Point Pretty Punk Punk Rock Rampage Rich Rich People Rich Person Rock Scene Secondary Sense Short Show Show Off Shows Single Single Person Small Small Town Stand Starry Starry Night Stealing Stupid Support Taking Talk Talk To Me Talking Term Thing Thought Threw Titanic Tour Town Twitter Upper Upper-Class Upstate New York Version Wanna Water Weird Whatnot Work Working Working It Worst Worst Movie Writers Writing York Less More Hide All See All
I wanna be funny, but if I have a chance to make a point while being funny - why not?
It's weird writing for a documentary because I have all these ideas for what I want to happen, but what actually happens is obviously completely different.
Everybody wants to be Doug Stanhope; everybody wants to be Bill Hicks - and those are great people to aim for, but they had the fundamentals down. They knew how to be funny.
When 'Titanic' came out on VHS, I was working at a Sam's Club, which is already the worst. I don't know what you know about working for the Walton family, but it's horrific. — © Chris Cubas
When 'Titanic' came out on VHS, I was working at a Sam's Club, which is already the worst. I don't know what you know about working for the Walton family, but it's horrific.
Put me on the Food Network - I'll be the funniest guy talking about food. I don't care.
The holy grail for me is just stand-up - It's always been that. If I can just tour and headline in stand-up, that's the dream. But I'll do anything that looks like fun, y'know?
If you like looking at 'Starry Night' or water lilies or whatever, then why does it matter if it's an original? If the artist is still alive, and you want to support them, I get it. But if you want some famous dead guy's work, that's just a way for rich people to show off. It's the upper-class version of driving a giant Hummer.
Twitter is basically just writing a bunch of one-liners - it's a short form or whatever.
Kansas City, well, part of the town's pretty cool, and part of the town is not. But it's gonna be that way no matter where you go.
If you have any sense, if you're any good at comedy, you come to Austin.
I was living in upstate New York, in Kingston - small town, no comedy scene except for my friends and I doing these DIY shows and whatnot. And we put together this thing called the 'Altercation Punk Rock Comedy Tour.'
The whole point of comedy, what's fun, is taking the stupid thought I had and working it into something that makes a bunch of people laugh.
I hated 'Avatar' from the jump. And I like James Cameron. I'm not opposed to James Cameron.
I don't know a single person that's like, ''Avatar' is my favorite movie.' It never even comes up. I don't know anyone that will defend that movie.
The goal is doing stand-up on TV somewhere, which is what I'm working on. Something on latenight or Comedy Central, but - I dunno, something. It could happen, it could not happen.
The flat-out worst movie I've ever seen has to be Uwe Boll's 'Rampage.'
I felt like I couldn't meet a single rich person. Regardless of where I live, they don't want to talk to me. I threw a barbecue and invited the whole neighborhood, and nobody showed up.
I definitely have friends who gave me a tag for a joke I already had. Like, 'Here's another line.' A tag is, 'Oooooh, it's an industry term.' It's like, there's the punchline, and a tag is like a secondary punchline.
There's a difference between hiring writers and stealing jokes. — © Chris Cubas
There's a difference between hiring writers and stealing jokes.
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