Top 154 Quotes & Sayings by Chris Gethard

Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American actor Chris Gethard.
Chris Gethard

Christopher Paul Gethard (; born May 23, 1980) is an American actor, comedian and writer. He was the host of The Chris Gethard Show, a talk show based in New York City, which aired from 2011 to 2018. He hosts the podcasts Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People and New Jersey is the World.

Explore Chris Gethard Quotes About

Academy Access Acknowledged Activity Actor Acts Actual Admit Adrenaline Adrenaline Rush Hide All Advice Afraid After School Album Albums Alive Amount Analyzing Andy Angeles Angry Answer Anymore Anytime Apartment Apartments Appealing Arrogant Artist Artistic Artistic Freedom Arts Asked Aspect Attracted Attractiveness Audience Audiences Audition August Author Avoid Awesome Awfulness Back Bad Days Ball Barrier Basements Be Confident Be Creative Behind Closed Doors Being A Good Person Being An Artist Beings Berry Best Advice Best Comedy Best Work Beverly Beverly Hills Bigger Biggest Bits Bizarre Blackout Blatant Blocking Blown Boardwalk Boardwalk Empire Bones Books Bored Born Bottom Bought Branding Brave Breakfast Brooklyn Bugs Built Bullshit Bullying Bunch Burned Busted California Calm Care Cared Career Cares Caring Case Cast Catch Certain Point Challenging Chance Change Chaos Character Checked Cheesecake Chest Chip Chips Choices Chosen Christopher Chuck Church City Civilization Class Classes Classify Close Closed Closed Doors Clown Cluster College College Graduation Colony Combination Comedian Comedians Comedy Comic Comic Book Comic Books Comics Commercials Common Complete Conan Condescending Coney Island Confidence Confident Confrontation Connect Connected Connects Conquer Consequences Constantly Control Conversations Convinced Cool Cool Stuff Coolest Cops Corners Costs Country Cousins Cover Coward Cowardly Cracked Crashes Creative Creative Expression Creatively Creativity Creek Crowd Customer Customer Service Dance Danger Dangerous Dangerously Dark Dark Side Darkness Date Dating Dating Someone David Days Dead Deal Death Debt Decades Decision Definition Definition Of Success Degree Deliver Depressed Depression Desire Dessert Difference Dislike Dislike Me Dive Dodge Door Doors Dozens Dreams Dress Drink Drinking Drive Dull Dumb Dummy Dutch Dying Earlier Early Easier Eastern Easy Eating Eighth Embraced Embracing Emergency Emmy Empire Endlessly Enjoy Enjoyed Enough Money Entails Entertainment Episode Error Evening Every Morning Everyday Exact Exciting Exists Expectations Expected Experience Experimental Explain Expose Expression Extra Extraordinary Extremely Eyes Facebook Fact Fail Fake Fall Falling Falling Down Fame Family Fashion Fast Fast-Paced Father Favorite Feed Feedback Feel Feeling Feelings Feels Feet Fell Felt Female Field Fight Fighters Figure Figuring Finally Financial Find Flame Flames Flush Follow Follow Your Dreams Forehead Forget Format Forum Freedom Friend Friends Front Frustrating Full Fundamental Funny Gave Generally Gently Gigs Give Giving Glass Glasses Gonna Good Good Person Good Thing Good Things Good Time Gotta Grab Grace Grade Graduated Graduation Grand Grateful Great Greatly Greener Grew Grew Up Group Growing Growing Up Half Handful Hands Handsome Happen Happened Happening Happier Happy Hard Hard Work Harder Hardest Hardest Thing Hate Hate Me Hated Head Heading Health Health Insurance Hear Heard Hearing Hearing Things Heart Helped Helps Hidden Hide High High School Hills History Hold Home Home State Hometown Honest Honesty Hopeless Horror Horror Movie Horror Movies Host Hours House Houses Huge Human Human Being Human Beings Humans Hundreds Hungry I Have Learned I Quit I Regret Idea Ideals Ideas Idyllic Immense Immensely Implies Important Impossible Improv Improvise In My Opinion In The Past Incapable Infamous Innovation Insecure Inside Inspired Insurance Integrity Interact Interaction Interesting Interfere Internet Invite Inviting Island Issues Jerks Jersey Jobs John Jokes Judge Judge Me Junior Kids Kind Kinda Knew Knowledge Land Largely Late Late Night Laugh Laughing Layer Leading Leap Learn Learned Leave Left Legacy Legally Legends Leper Lesson Level Life Life Choices Life Is Life Is A Life Is Not Easy Life Path Life Regret Likes Line Listened Listening Literally Live Lived Lives Living Living Proof Locker Locker Room Loneliness Lonely Long Looked Lord Lord Of The Ring Lord Of The Rings Los Angeles Lose Loser Losing Lost Lots Love Love Is Loved Loves Lower Luck Lucky Luxury Made Magnifying Magnifying Glass Make Makes Making Male Manhattan Mania Manic Mansion Maria Market Massively Material Math Matter Means Medication Medications Memory Mental Mental Stability Mentality Mere Messages Microscope Middle Mike Mild Million Million Times Millions Millions Of People Mind Mine Minutes Miss Mistakes Modest Moment Moments Momentum Money Monster Months More People Morning Morning And Night Most Powerful Move Moved Movie Movie Star Movie Stars Movies Muscles Music My Favorite My Life My Own Life My Thoughts My Time Named Necessarily Necessity Necks Needed Negativity Neighborhood Nerd Nerdy Never Forget New Jersey New Level New Life New York New York City New Yorkers Nice Night Nightmare No Desire No One Cares Noble Nonsense Normal North Northern Nostalgic Notable Numbers Observing Obsessed Obsessing Offer Officers One Of The Things One Thing Onstage Open Opinion Opportunity Opposite Orange Organized Our Dreams Outdated Overwhelming Overzealous Page Paid Parents Part Party Past Pastures Path Paying People Percent Perform Performers Performing Permanent Permission Perpetuate Perseverance Person Personality Personally Phase Phases Philly Phone Phrase Physical Place Places Plate Platform Playing Playing Field Point Political Positive Positivity Potential Powerful Precipice Prefer Present Pressure Prettiest Pretty Pretty Boy Problem Problems Process Production Professionally Projects Proof Prove Prove Myself Provide Public Public Transportation Publicly Pull Punched Punk Punk Rock Putting Queens Question Quiet Quit Quit Drinking Racing Rage Raise Rare Rationale Reaching Read Ready Real Real Person Realize Realized Really Great Reasons Regret Remarkably Remember Remind Rent Reputation Required Respected Rest Restaurants Ride Rings Risk Road Robin Rock Rolling Room Roots Rotation Rude Ruined Rule Rush Rutgers Sacrificed Sad Clown Sadder Sadness Safe Sane Saved Saving Saving Grace Scale Scared Scary School Scott Scream Searching Secure Seek Seeking Seeking Help Seemingly Sense Sequence Service Sexuality Shake Sharing Sharp Shattering Shoulder Show Shows Shut Shutting Sick Side Signed Similarly Simple Simple Things Sitcom Situations Skin Slowing Small Smile Smoothly So Many People So Many Years Soapbox Sober Social Socially Sole Solo Some People Some Things Someday Sooner Sort Soul Soul Searching Sound Sounds Spend Spent Split Sprung Sprung Up Squad Stability Stable Stage Stages Stand Stand Up Standup Star Stars Start Started Starting Starting Out State Stay Stay Calm Step Step Up Steps Stereotype Stereotypical Stick Stifle Stock Stock Market Stories Story Storyteller Straight Strangers Street Street Corner Street Corners Streets Stretch Strike Strong Struggle Stuck Stuff Suburban Suburbs Subway Success Successful Successfully Sucks Suicidal Suicide Super Supported Supposedly Surface Surprise Sustain Switched System Table Tables Take Care Taking Talent Talented Talented Person Talk Talk Show Talk Shows Talking Talking To Someone Tape Taught Teacher Teachers Teaching Television Tells Ten Years Tend Terms Terrifying Testing Text Text Me Text Message Thankful The Hardest Thing The One Thing The Only Thing These Streets Thicker Thing Things Things Happen Things I Love Thinking Thought Thoughts Thousands Three Years Thrive Ticket Tickets Time Times Toilet Total Totally Tough Town Towns Track Traditional Tragic Transfer Transformed Transportation Trial Trial And Error Truth Turn Turn Me Turned Turns TV Show Types Typical Ugly Unable Uncomfortable Undeniable Understand Understandable Uniforms Unrealistic Unsuccessful Uphill Utilizing Valid Very Happy Very Interesting Very Positive Very Strong Videos Voluntarily Vulnerability Vulnerable Walk Walking Walking Away Wall Wanted Wanting Warm Waste Waste Of Time Watch Watched Ways Weird West What's Important White Whoa Whole Life Williams Winners Wise Wolf Women Wondering Word Words Work Work Out Works World Worse Worst Worth Worth It Wound Writing Written Wrong Wrong Thing Yards Year Years York Young Younger Younger People Your Dreams YouTube Zombie Less More Hide All See All
In late 2004, I left my much-maligned home state of New Jersey for the supposedly greener pastures of Astoria, Queens. I'd finally be in the mix, living off the subway line, able to go from audition to audition during the day and from late night show to late night show in the wee hours of the morning.
When I really have it together, I think I successfully pull off looking like the exact middle point between Macklemore and Ron Howard, only with a much bigger forehead than either of them.
I remember the people who mentored me, and I just love being able to do that for other people. — © Chris Gethard
I remember the people who mentored me, and I just love being able to do that for other people.
Bits are fake conversations comedians have because they are uncomfortable being vulnerable with other human beings in any way.
I'm not exactly Don Draper when it comes to physical attractiveness.
The one-word story about why I have a chip on my shoulder is 'bullying.'
As a stand-up, as a storyteller, as an improviser, I've done thousands of shows. They allow me to work out new material that might turn into something later. They let me keep my muscles sharp for when the rent-paying gigs do come along. They keep me sane.
I think so often about how, when I was starting out at UCB, Conan O'Brien was in town, and on his show back then, they sometimes did character bits, and I started getting paid to dress up as a page or a Dutch boy on his show.
I've exceeded the expectations people had for me as an unconfident runt who grew up in North Jersey as well as the expectations I had for myself.
I'm very happy with my decision to go sober. It's helped my life. It's helped my mental stability.
I had bedbugs in 2005. I felt like a leper. Worse than a leper. At least lepers had a colony they could go and live in with other people who empathized. I instead had friends stand up from tables and walk out of restaurants when I told them I had bedbugs, because they were afraid I'd transfer the bugs to them.
West Orange, where I grew up, is the hometown of Ian Ziering from 'Beverly Hills, 90210,' Scott Wolf from 'Party of Five,' David Cassidy from the 'Partridge Family,' and Mike Pitt of 'Boardwalk Empire' and 'Dawson's Creek.'
In 2010, I was the star of a sitcom. It came and went pretty fast. But in the months from when I was cast in the sitcom through when it was done airing, my life did change remarkably.
Getting help for my issues was one of the hardest things I've ever done, because when I get dangerously sad or manic, those feelings seek to perpetuate themselves.
I get to do comedy for a living. — © Chris Gethard
I get to do comedy for a living.
I do not like confrontations in New York City.
When my TV show was in production, dozens of women asked me out on Facebook. Some were shy about it; some were blatant. Some I knew, some were total strangers. But they went for it.
I quit drinking in 2002, mere months before my college graduation.
I know there are many things California can offer - personally, professionally, meteorologically - that New York can't. It sounds awesome.
Cops are everywhere in New York City. Cars drive by every few minutes. Uniforms stand nonchalantly at street corners.
Shows are my saving grace. In between actual jobs, the only thing that keeps me sane is the knowledge that I can go up on stages.
New Yorkers will be rude, but at least they do so out of the rationale that everyone around them is always slowing them down. Los Angeles, I learned, is a city full of people who have the personality of the coolest pretty boy from your eighth-grade class.
I'm a dummy from New Jersey.
It's a fun uphill struggle, making health insurance as a comedian, actor, and author. But it's hard to explain to people how I make a living. In New York, most people know enough creative types that I make some sense. But when I'm talking to someone like my suburban cousins or my mom's friends, it doesn't always go smoothly.
I feel like a lot of performers' worst shows happened in Philly. There's something about that town.
When people ask me, 'Why don't you drink?' I usually smile and say 'Because I'm not good at it.'
There are certain fundamental things that scream, 'I just moved to New York.' Things like eating cheesecake at Junior's or heading out to Coney Island to ride the Cyclone.
Anyone who lives in N.Y.C. will tell you that getting into a confrontation on a city street is a complete nightmare 100 percent of the time.
Anyone who's ever been around an emergency in Manhattan realizes that there are plainclothes officers on these streets walking past us more than we ever realize.
Sometimes I get gigs in weird, artsy places because weird, artsy people embraced my public-access show, which I could only have done in the way I did in New York.
I classify myself as a comedian, but I'm one of those comedians who also acts so that I can split the difference and feel insecure about both.
If you are dating someone in New York City, and they invite you over to watch a movie, they don't really want to watch a movie.
No aspect of my brief and mild fame actually made me happier.
I will never forget what happened on August 14, 2003. I know the exact sequence of where I was for every moment of that evening. It was a tragic day, and it's burned into my memory. Many people might remember that date, vaguely, as the date of the infamous eastern seaboard blackout that plunged all of New York City into darkness.
No one in New York hangs out in their apartments.
I moved to Queens from New Jersey in 2004 and have continued to stick with New York to such a degree that when people ask me to explain it, I'm sometimes unable to provide an answer.
Bedbugs have never been cool, and bedbugs will never be cool.
The stereotype of New Yorkers is that we're people who avoid warm human interaction, we're always in too much of a rush to enjoy simple things, and that we're just generally rude.
'What if?' is just about the worst question I can ask myself, and I want to avoid it at all costs for the rest of my life. — © Chris Gethard
'What if?' is just about the worst question I can ask myself, and I want to avoid it at all costs for the rest of my life.
Any notable moments spent on a subway usually do nothing more than expose human awfulness at its most pronounced.
My sadness compels me to hide it so that people won't judge me. Seeking help would have blown my cover. Meanwhile, my mania convinces me that it's making me fun so I'll want to dive further into it. Seeking help would've ruined that good time.
I am a stereotypical northeasterner. I'm always in a rush. I've attracted stares from out-of-towners when I've shoved past someone blocking the subway door.
My medications make me easier to deal with. They don't interfere with my creativity or turn me into a zombie or dull my real personality. They help me connect with people, allow me to stay calm when situations seem overwhelming, and help keep my thoughts from racing out of control. They help me leave the house when I'm scared to. They help.
I've taught people in improv classes, then watched them move to Los Angeles to become Emmy winners and movie stars. That experience, for anyone wondering, is both super exciting and also makes you put a microscope on your own life choices. It causes you to question why you still perform stand-up in so many Brooklyn basements.
I think Carmen Christopher is going to be massively huge. He's just too funny. He's got funny in his bones, and he wants to conquer every room.
Even though I live in New York, I still have this Jersey thing where I feel like I have to prove myself. I'm grateful for any chance I get to be the least talented person in the room, because it'll make me work that much harder.
By August of 2003, I had graduated from Rutgers, gone through a stretch of living at my parents' house, and wound up sharing an apartment with a college friend of mine in Montclair, New Jersey.
Having money didn't make me less of a socially incapable loser; it just made me a socially incapable loser who wasn't in debt.
Northern New Jersey looks like a cluster of idyllic suburbs, but each of those seemingly normal towns has a dark side that's constantly gossiped about but never publicly acknowledged. They seem to thrive on their strangenesses.
Cops in New York City don't have the best reputation. It's a fast-paced city, and they deal with a lot, and many people have seen lots of cops interact with the public utilizing what can be gently called 'not the best customer service.'
The street I lived on for the first handful of years of my life was lined with modest, lower-middle-class houses with small front yards and cracked driveways - your typical North Jersey neighborhood, with all the odd hidden darkness that that implies.
The bad you see in N.Y.C. is troubling to know when it rears its ugly head. — © Chris Gethard
The bad you see in N.Y.C. is troubling to know when it rears its ugly head.
The UCB has long been known as a hub of the best comedy in New York City, but it's never been the most well organized or cared for place in the world.
In 2002, I was taking an improv class because, as a white male with glasses who was born between 1978 and 1994, it's legally required that I take at least one improv class in my life.
Part of North Jersey life is that everyone is obsessed with being tough all the time.
Public transportation is like a magnifying glass that shows you civilization up close.
I just really remember the feeling of being a younger comedian who was kind of an outlier for being experimental and weird and how that could feel lonely or hopeless.
I take medications every morning and night - they're my breakfast, and they're my dessert. I love them.
I don't think I'm ugly per se, but on bad days, I have been told that I look like the monster from 'The Hills Have Eyes.' That was extremely confidence-shattering, so I try to take care of myself.
As a largely unsuccessful comedian, I've become someone that younger people sometimes find and ask for advice, which I'm happy to give, even though it makes me feel old.
This site uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience. More info...
Got it!