Top 243 Quotes & Sayings by Christopher Moore

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Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore is an American writer of comic fantasy. He was born in Toledo, Ohio. He grew up in Mansfield, Ohio, and attended Ohio State University and Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara, California.

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Abby Ability Accident Accurate Ache Acknowledge Action Actual Adamant Added Hide All Adjust Advance Advanced Adventure Advice Affable Affordable Afraid Agenda Agree Aisle Alien Alive All The Facts All Things Allowed Alpha Alpha Male Amazing Amazing Thing Ambitious American American Music Anemia Angel Angels Anger Angry Animal Annoying Answer Answers Antidepressants Anus Anymore Apartment Appearance Application Archer Armed Arms Arms And Legs Army Artist Asked Asks Aspire Attending Attention Attention Span Attract Attracted Attraction Aunt Author Auto Average Avoid Awkward Babies Baby Back Back Again Back Up Backed Bacon Bad Mood Bags Bald Ball Bans Baptist Baptized Barry Bars Based Basis Basket Baudelaire Be A Slave Be Kind Be Spontaneous Bean Bear Beard Beast Beastly Beat Beautiful Beautiful City Beauty Beaver Begin Behavior Beliefs Believed Bell Bells Belong Benefit Bent Best Time Beta Better Time Big Brother Bird Birth Bits Bitter Black Black Hair Blade Blah Blanket Blessed Blizzard Blog Blood Blown Blue Bob Dylan Body Boil Bolt Bomb Bone Bonus Boogie Book Book Titles Books Booty Bored Boredom Boring Bother Bottle Bottles Bottom Bowl Bowling Boxer Bradbury Brain Brains Brave Break Breakfast Breath Bring British Broken Brooding Brother Brother Died Brown Bruise Buddha Nature Buddhism Buildings Bulletproof Bunch Bundles Business Busy Byron Cadence Caffeine Cake Call Calling Calls Canada Captain Capture Cards Career Carried Case Caught Ceiling Center Certainty Chain Challenge Challenged Chance Change Chaos Chapter Characterize Characters Charge Charlie Chased Check Cheer Cheese Chess Chest Chicken Child Children Chill Chocolate Choir Chorus Chorus Line Chose Chosen Christ Christmas Chronicles Church Circle Circumstance City Class Clay Clean Clear Cloak Close Clothes Cloud Clueless Cockneys Coffee Cold Collapse Collection Collective Color Colored Colorful Comedy Comfort Comfortable Comic Coming Communication Company Complex Complexity Compliment Composed Composition Concept Concerned Concerto Conclusions Conditions Confess Confidence Confirm Confuse Conservative Consonants Constantly Constructed Control Conversion Convinced Cookies Cooking Cool Cops Corner Cornwall Corporal Country Couple Courtesy Covet Coworkers Coyote Crack Crackers Craft Craziest Create Creature Creatures Creeping Creepy Crew Cricket Crowd Cursing Cute Dagger Dangers Daring Dark Darkest Darkness Data Daughter Davis Day Night Dead Deaf Deal Dealer Dealing Dear Death Decide Deck Deck Of Cards Deed Delightful Demon Demonic Department Department Store Department Stores Depression Desire Desires Despair Destroyed Detective Devil Devious Dialect Dialogue Dickens Diction Died Diet Diets Difference Different Level Difficult Digital Dinner Dinner Table Direction Directions Dirty Disappeared Dislike Disorder Dissection Distinguish Dive Doctor Dogs Dollars Doom Door Double Drag Dragging Dragon Draw Drawers Drawing Draws Dread Dream Dreamer Dressed Dressed Up Drink Drinking Drive Driving Dropping Drunk Drunkard Drunken Duck Dude Duke Dwell Dylan Early Earnest Earth Easily Eat Breakfast Eaten Eating Eating Disorder Eddie Edge Education Electronic Elephant Empathize Empty Enchantment Encourage Ended English English History English Language Enjoyed Enjoying Ensemble Enter Entertain Entertaining Entertainment Escape Escaping Eternity Events Evidence Evil Evolution Evolutionary Excitement Existence Expense Experience Experiments Exploration Exterior Extraordinarily Fabric Face Fact Facts Failure Fair Fairy Faith Faking Fall Family Family Time Fans Fast Father Fave Favorite Favorite Music Fear Fears Feathers Feeble Feed Feeds Feel Feel Good Feelings Feet Feet Off The Ground Fell Felt Festive Fiction Field Fiery Figure Figured File Find Finding Finds Fine Finish Finished Fire Fire Department Firsthand Fish Fitting Flatulence Flea Flick Flowers Flowing Flying Follow Food Foods Fool Football Forces Forfeit Forget Forgiving Foul Found Fourteen Fourth Francisco Freaks Free Freedom Freight Fresh Fresh Look Friend Friendship Front Frozen Full Funny Funny Book Funny Story Furniture Future Gabriel Gain Galaxy Gambling Gang General Generally Generation Generations Genes Genre Geography German Gestures Get Married Giddy Gift Girl Girlfriend Give Give Me Glass Gliding Glorious Glow Gods Good Good As It Gets Good Cheer Good Guy Good People Good Time Good Times Goodness Goth Gotta Grade Grand Grand Theft Auto Grass Gravel Great Great Hair Grenade Grief Grin Grinding Ground Group Grow Guess Guide Guilt Guys Hail Hair Hall Hammer Hand Hang Happen Happier Happy Happy Children Hard Harder Harem Harlot Harlots Hate Hates Haven Havoc Hawaiian Hawks Head Heads Heals Hear Heart Heat Heavy Heights Helium Hemingway Hero Heroes Heroic Hiding High High-Tech Hire Hired Historically History Hitchhiking Hold Homies Honey Hope Hoped Horrible Horror Hotel Hours House Huffing Human Humanity Humiliation Humor Humorous Hundred Hundreds Hungry Hunt Hunter Hurry Hurt Husbands Hysteria I Hate I Love You I Realized Ignorant Ignore Ikea Illiterate Illuminate Illusion Illusions Image Imagination Imagine Imitate Immediately Immortal Important Important Question Improved In Fact Inch Include Inconsiderate Incontinence Indiana Inferior Influences Inherently Inns Insanity Insects Inside Instantly Instrument Instruments Insulated Integrated Intelligence Interest Interested Invented Inventive Invitation Irony Irritating Irritation Island Jacob James Jammies Japanese Japanese Art Jeopardy Jesus Jobs John John The Baptist Joker Jokes Josh Journal Judge Juice Justice Kent Kettle Kevin Kick Kicked Kicks Kids Killer Killer Whales Killing Kind King Kingdom Knew Knitting Knitting Needles Knowledge Kung Fu Kurt Labels Lamb Language Lap Dogs Last Night Last Time Last Year Laugh Laughed Laughter Laundry Leaking Lear Learn Learned Leash Leashes Leave Legs Lens Lethal Letting Leukemia Level Libertine Lice Lick Lies Life Life Is Life Is A Lifting Light Likes Lilies Lily Limitations Limits Line Lines Lipstick Listen Literature Live Live Your Life Lives Living Logic Loneliness Lonely Lonely Man Long Lonliness Looked Lord Lose Lost Lots Lottery Lousy Love Love Is Love You Loved Loyalty Lunch Luther Lying Lyrics Machine Madame Made Madeline Magazine Magic Magical Main Make Make Up Makes Making Malcolm Male Males Manner Married Marry Martin Martin Luther King Mascara Material Matters Meaning Meaning Of Means Meant Measure Measured Medium Meek Meets Mentally Mercy Message Messiah Messy Method Methodist Middle Miles Million Mind Mirror Mist Mistake Mistakes Mistletoe Mobile Molding Moment Monk Mood Moors Morality Morgues Morning Mortality Moses Mother Mouth Moved Moved On Movement Moves Movie Movies Murphy Music Mustard Mustard Seed Mute My Big Brother My Family My Favorite My Friend My Generation My Heart My Life Myth Naked Named Names Narrator Native Native America Native American Nature Naughty Navel Necessarily Needed Needles Negative Nerd Nerds Nerdy Nerves Next Door Next Generation Next Thing Nice Night Ninja No Problem No Sense Nobody's Perfect Noises Normal Nose Not Afraid Not Interested Notes Novelist Novels Nuts Oakland Obnoxious Offended One Thing One Time Only Thing That Matters Open Operation Oppressed Orange Orbit Order Original Original Thought Ounce Our Lives Our People Our Time Outlet Overlapping Package Packed Page Pages Paid Pain Painting Palm Pants Paper Parable Parables Parachute Parade Paralysis Pardon Parents Part Parts Pass Past Pay Attention Peacefully People Percent Perfect Perfection Perfectly Perfectly Good Perky Person Personality Persuasion Phenomenon Phone Photo Pick Picked Picture Piece Pieces Pine Pious Pissed Off Place Plan Play Played Player Pocket Poem Poet Point Police Politics Ponder Pondering Population Portion Possession Possibilities Poster Pound Pounding Pounds Pouting Power Power Moves Prayer Praying Preferred Prepared Present Pressed Pretty Pride Printed Problem Problems Professional Program Progress Projectile Projects Prone Prophet Prospect Public Public Education Public School Pulled Pups Pure Puritanism Purity Purpose Pursue Pursuit Puzzle Puzzle Piece Queen Quench Question Questions Quick Quicker Quiz Radiant Raft Raise Raised Rascal Rascals Rated Rationalize Ray Bans Reach Read Readers Reading Real Real Life Realistic Reality Realize Realized Reason Recalled Reciting Recognize Reconcile Redundant Refer Reference Referring Reflected Regan Regular Rehab Rejection Relevant Remain Remembered Remembers Renoir Reputation Requires Research Resent Resides Resist Responsibility Rest Retired Reveal Reviews Revolutionary Rhymes Ribbon Rich Richard Ridiculous Rise Road Robes Rock Rock And Roll Roll Rolling Rolls Romance Romantic Room Rose Roulette Routine Rubber Ruined Rules Rush Russian Russian Literature Sacrifice Sadly Safety Sale Salinger Salty San Francisco Sane Sarcasm Satan Saturday Saturday Night Saved Savory Scales Scary Scary Thing Scholastic School Science Scientists Scratch Scream Sea Turtle Seals Seconds Security Seduction Seed Seek Seekers Self-Interest Seminars Sense Senses Sensitive Servant Serve Services Setting Settle Seventeen Sewers Sexy Shadow Shaken Shakespeare Shallow Shame Shaped Share Shark Sharks Sharp Sheep Shenanigans Shiny Shirt Shoes Shop Shore Short Shorts Shouting Show Shrink Shut Shut Up Sick Sidewalk Sign Simplicity Simply Sing Sisters Sites Sitting Sixty Size Skills Skinny Skull Skydiving Slave Sleep Sleeping Slept Sliding Slime Slot Slow Slower Smack Small Small Creatures Smoker Smoking Smoking Weed Snacks Snow Soap Soft Solutions Some Things Song Sooner Sophie Sore Sort Soul Sound Space Span Spare Speak Special Species Speculate Spend Spending Spending Time Spider Spider-Man Spirit Spirits Spontaneous Spontaneously Stand Standard Standing Standing There Star Stare Staring Stark Stars Start Started Starting State Stay Staying Steady Steam Step Stepping Steps Steve Stew Stoker Stop Stores Stories Storm Story Strapped Strategies Strategy Streams Street Strike Strike Back Strong Studying Stuff Stylistic Subject Substantial Successful Suck Suffer Suffering Suggested Suicide Sundays Sunglasses Superfluous Superior Supernatural Supposed Survey Survived Survivors Suspect Sweaters Sweetheart Swing Syndrome T Pain Table Tails Take A Chance Takes Taking Talents Talk Talking Talking About Yourself Tall Tangled Tank Target Task Tasted Taught Taunting Teach Teacher Tear Tech Teddy Teddy Bear Teeth Television Telling Telling Stories Tend Terms Terrific Terrorist Test The Only Thing The Problem With Theft Themes Theories Theory Thing Things Thinker Thinking Thirst Thirty Thought Thoughts Thousand Threatening Thrill Thrilled Throw Thrown Tied Tied Up Tight Tilt Time Time Travel Timeless Times Timing Tiny Titles Toast Toaster Toilet Tolerant Tolls Tommy Tone Tonight Tons Tooth Tooth Fairy Torah Toss Totally Touched Tour Towel Town Trademark Tradition Tragic Trailer Train Translated Travel Trees Tricky Trouble Trousers True True Meaning Trump Trumpet Truth Truth Be Told Tumor Turkey Turn Turned Turns Turtle Turtles Twelve Ultimate Ultimately Unchanging Undermined Understand Underworld Unemployed Unethical Unleash Unlike Unraveling Unsettling Upset Upside Urge Usefulness Vampire Vampires Vehicle Venice Vermin Verse Vessel Villainy Violence Vodka Voice Volition Vulgarity Vulture Wait Waiting Wake Wake Up Walked Walks Wanted Wasting Watch Watched Watching Watching Football Waves Weak Weak Men Weapons Wear Wearing Wears Weed Week Weeks Weight Western Whale Whales Whatnot Wheel Whim Whimsical Whistler White Whole World Wholesome Whom The Bell Tolls Wide Wild Wildly Wind Window Winter Wished Woke Woman Women Word Words Work Working World Worm Worth Worthless Worthy Woven Wrap Wrapped Wreck Wrist Write Writer Writers Writing Wrong Wrote Yard Yeah Year Years Yeoman You Guys Young Young Writers Your Brother Your Soul Zombie Zombies Less More Hide All See All
I was baptized Methodist, but I was mainly raised First Church of NFL, which is to say that my family, especially my father, was much more concerned with watching football on Sundays than attending services.
The fact that 'A Dirty Job' has comedy and supernatural horror in it, that both are woven in and out of it with a whimsical tone, despite the fact that it's about death, makes it hard to characterize with standard genre labels - but I have no problem with that. I'd call it a funny story about death, and leave it at that.
I've made a dog's breakfast of English history, geography, 'King Lear,' and the English language in general. β€” Β© Christopher Moore
I've made a dog's breakfast of English history, geography, 'King Lear,' and the English language in general.
San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and light, often overlapping each other. It's a great setting for a horror story.
You can't teach someone to be funny, but you can teach comic timing. If you listen to a good comic, you can learn how to put it on a page.
I kind of dislike 'For Whom the Bell Tolls,' but most of Hemingway in general, mainly because his stylistic shenanigans ruined so many young writers of my generation who tried to imitate him. I think, for his time, he moved fiction to a different level stylistically, or at least added to the dialogue, but in our time, he's annoying.
I think beta males on an evolutionary basis are much more successful than the alpha males are. You don't hear much about us, but there's a lot more of us out there.
I'm not nearly as outrageously brave as many of my rascals that I write. But I think the rascal spirit must reside in me somewhere.
I love British cursing - the cadence of it, the joy in the sound of the words, and the vulgarity of it.
I just finished a novel called 'Exult,' by Joe Quirk, last night. It's about hang gliding. I liked his first book, too, 'The Ultimate Rush.' I now know that I never, ever, ever want to go hang gliding, so that's good.
I've sort of made a reputation by high-stepping my way out of genre. As soon as somebody says, 'He does this,' I'm not standing there anymore.
The only thing that matters to me about my stories is that they're entertaining and they're funny. And I tend to get bored easily, so I generally throw something supernatural in. I would say they're humorous novels that have a supernatural bent, but that's as close as you're going to get to fitting them all in the same basket.
One thing that's really delightful is my books tend to attract people who are funny, so I get the benefit of people writing me with things that crack me up. β€” Β© Christopher Moore
One thing that's really delightful is my books tend to attract people who are funny, so I get the benefit of people writing me with things that crack me up.
My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate.
As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.
I can't write a book like 'Lamb' or 'Fool' every year. It just takes too much research and craft.
As much as I encourage communication with my readers, I don't want reviews from them, simply because I don't need to be hamstrung in the middle of working on something.
I really don't think of my work in terms of a genre. I think of it in terms of what I want to say, what I think is cool, and what I'm good at.
When I teach seminars, I tell people, 'Your stuff has to look like something that's out there, because otherwise nobody will take a chance on you.'
When you go on book tour, you're always talking about yourself and your book from the time you get up in the morning until you go out at night. You, you. You get really sick of yourself.
As an author, you spend a lot of time by yourself in a room making clicky noises. It gets pretty insulated. You realize pretty early on in your career that even if this goes well, you could spend all your life in a room alone. Unless you pick projects that are going to get you out doing things, you're not going to actually live your life.
You know, a vampire book is not a book to be the vehicle for big themes and stuff, where sometimes when you're dealing with art or the life of Christ or the oeuvre of Shakespeare, you know, it's a little more ambitious.
When you're telling stories, you are actually trying to illuminate some portion of the truth in an artful way. The story may immediately seem to be a lie, but it's like an impressionistic painting - you see the light and the color better than you would with a photo-realistic piece.
The reason I wrote 'You Suck' was that I so enjoyed spending time with Tommy and Jody.
I'm not afraid of getting into a subject I don't know much about.
When I was writing 'You Suck,' in 2006, I constructed the diction of the book's narrator, perky Goth girl Abby Normal, from what I read on Goth blog sites.
Everything in Venice is just a little bit creepy, as much as it's beautiful.
Like most people, I woke up one day to find that everyone I knew was taking antidepressants, and since I wasn't, I figured that I must be the cause of their depression.
I don't read reviews if I know in advance they're negative, because I can't have my confidence undermined when I'm writing.
For me, 'Lamb' started out as a further exploration of the phenomenon of faith and the responsibility of a messiah that I touched on in 'Coyote Blue' and 'Island of the Sequined Love Nun,' but it ended up being an exploration of the true meaning of sacrifice, loyalty, and friendship.
The reason I'm writing funny books is that I wish there were more.
I thought I was going to be a horror story writer. My influences were horror writers, like Rich Matheson, Ray Bradbury and Bram Stoker.
All of the trickster, rascal characters that I write have the voice I aspire to. In real life, you can't be that obnoxious and get away with it.
I don't give a toss about being remembered after my death.
From Dickens's cockneys to Salinger's phonies, from Kerouac's beatniks to Cheech and Chong's freaks, and on to hip hop's homies, dialect has always been used as a way for generations to distinguish themselves.
I have that special sort of novelist body of knowledge which is extraordinarily wide and very, very shallow. So I can usually answer the questions on 'Jeopardy,' but never the bonus question.
What is your name?" asked Lear. Caius," said Kent. And whence do you hail?" From Bonking, sire." Well, yes, lad, as do we all," said Lear, "but from what town?
Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair. β€” Β© Christopher Moore
Oh, we are but soft and squishy bags of mortality rolling in a bin of sharp circumstance, leaking life until we collapse, flaccid, into our own despair.
Oh, I would while away the hours, Wanking in the flowers, my heart all full of song, I'd be gliding all the lilies as I waved about my willie, If I only had a schlong.
If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key β€” and this is very relevant in our case β€” is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.
An adventure story is fear recalled in comfort.
Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt
You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.
The Angel Gabriel disappeared once for sixty years and they found him on earth hiding in the body of a man named Miles Davis.
Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
Why understand when you can believe?
Sometimes this high-tech world calls for low-tech solutions. β€” Β© Christopher Moore
Sometimes this high-tech world calls for low-tech solutions.
Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
Love needs room to grow. Like a rose. Or a tumor.
If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
And an inky-colored despair of rejection enveloped me like the black tortilla of depression around a pain burrito.
They want to be tied up, I tie them up. They want to be spanked, I spank them. They want to be called names, I call them names. But try and drink a little of their blood, and they scream like babies. What about my needs?
He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift.
It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.
Turtles hate heights. They don't even like being a few feet off the ground. It's the main reason they have resisted evolution for so long-fear of heights. Turtle thinking goes thus: Sure, first our scales turn into feathers and the next thing you know we're flying and chirping and perching on trees. We've seen it happen. Thanks, but we're staying right here in the mud where we belong. You're not going to see us flying full-tilt boogie into a sliding glass door.
I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
Children see magic because they look for it.
Blessed are the dumbfucks.
Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or booty call, the humpback song is an amazing thing to experience firsthand, and I suspect that even once the science of it is put to bed, it will remain, as long as they sing, magic.
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